After helping out at the middle school retreat, I started talking to one of the moms and how her children are in that stage in which they are dealing with pornography, pressure, lust, etc. She mentioned how her son unknowingly would watch things such as anime (with inappropriate pictures) and videos without realizing that it was something wrong. After mentioning the things her son was struggling, she also talked about how the idea of women seeking comfort from men and desiring to be intimate to receive care and love is a way in which women battle lusting.
This past year my parents moved back to Argentina leaving nothing behind but me. Often when we become so overwhelmed by the work we have and there is nothing that can fully remove the burdens we carry on our shoulders, we tend to seek a get away like home. When we go back home, it all begins with that warm welcoming your parents pour onto you with that unconditional love they show you during your stay. Honestly, I miss that. I miss not being reassured of the fact that someone cares for me and I miss that love and the warmth my family would shower me with. Just as my heart continued to seek all of this since the school year started, I easily burnt out in all that I did and I lost joy in the things that I was doing for God. In order to get my head out of the problems I was facing in school, I’d turn to friends and other things for comfort. Sometimes I’d wonder how nice it would be to have a boyfriend who could comfort me and emotionally and physically care for me during those times of trial. As I thought about how I wanted a boyfriend and how I was relying on other people and things for comfort, I realized I had been pushing God aside. For me to desire to be cared for and to have that intimacy with someone to push my thoughts about home and family aside is what I saw today as lust.
As I was walking to class today, I started reflecting about life and how I’ve been changing so much this past year. The desire to be loved and comforted by people that I was seeking for so long was emotionally, physically and emotionally draining me. It was during today’s walk that I had a revelation about how God only can fully satisfy my desires to be comforted, cared for and mostly loved. Even though my flesh itches for comfort and love, the emptiness I feel in my heart can only be filled by jesus.
As simple as the reminder “God only can satisfy and fulfill all our pleasures and desires” may seem, it’s something that I had easily forgotten these past few months. As much as I may want to buy a ticket and fly to Argentina to be with my family, God has a beautiful and wonderful plan for me here in America. And even in the midst of my struggles and discomforts, He should be the first one I turn to rather than minor things that will temporarily satisfy me.
It is so easy to draw away from God when you are facing challenges you feel so hopeless about. During moments like these, it is when the devil tempts you to believe that your problems will be solved more quickly if you rely on yourself without the help of God. But God wants to walk in the path you choose to take in life and He wants to help you in times of struggles. Don’t be scared to fully trust in Him and for Him to invade your life with His love and care. As scary as it may sound for someone to give one’s life to another, that is when faith plays its role. God wants you and your life so that He can fully comfort and provide for you.
Let Him enter and be the number one priority in your life. As scary as it may sound, it’s an amazing journey you are walking into because God has beautiful and wonderful things in store for you. Dont’ lose sight of the fact that He wants you more than you want Him. You take one step and He’ll take a million.
“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good” - 1 Peter 2:2-3
